we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
