I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
wat bout pragnant strippers??
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
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