I'm really into asian looking animals
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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