I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
