just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
