As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
