they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
