You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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