I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
