ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
