this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My bed smells like the plague
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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