i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
