Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
