Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
