Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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