I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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