im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
