my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
