I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I want to make a zoo with you.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
