In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
