Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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