I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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