I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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