happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize