READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize