hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
