I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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