Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
