My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
