Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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