she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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