i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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