Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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