Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
