I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think I won the penis lottery.
i just had sex bonerless
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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