Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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