Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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