In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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