You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
