Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize