Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
