Sober January is a disaster.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
