Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
