do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
