Is it normal to miss your booty call?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
