My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
