Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
