i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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