just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
