yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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