Jerry, you need to find god
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Couch. On fire.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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