am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
