Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
