how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
