Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
