the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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