my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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