She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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