Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
