; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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