I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
