she was so not down for the gang bang
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize