Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
