I must be too annoying 4 u.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
