had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize