Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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