I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
