What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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