We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
