i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
