So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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