she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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